Oops! I forgot to tell you
I once attended a program where I had to write a letter to the person I loved the most imagining that I had just discovered that I was going to die in next few moments. Knowing myself, I would've waited for it to happen on its rather than imagine something.
Mia Dolce Vita ,
Hope this letter finds you in the pink of life. Kindly accept my apologies for not informing you earlier. I died last friday. I was so dead tired that I forgot to inform you.
From the time I dropped dead, life's been a riot; people running around organizing the funeral, getting the house cleaned-up and getting me cleaned and decked up in my finest clothes before they stuffed in my coffin.
Well, I did remember when I was in the coffin that I should call you, but I thought it might be just so inappropriate to get up & walk out when all the people were gathered around grieving. Those were the worst 8 hours of my life/death. All the offerings that people poured in my mouth were now threatening to breach my bladder. My legs were stiff from lying in the same position for hours on end, my nose was twitching and I felt a sneeze coming on, that darn lone fly was all over my lips resting at times for almost 15 seconds in one place making me wonder if might be doing the big job on my lips. I recollected complaining to my boss about the size of the cubicle once. "It's like working from a coffin" I had remarked. But as I lie here cold, damp & stiff I think I shall eat those words, my last supper.
Thankfully I survived this ordeal until I was six feet under and sufficiently sound proofed. The first thing I did was sneeze, simultaneously letting out loud booming fart. Doubly relieved I loosened my clothes and promptly got down to writing you this letter.
I'm going to shower and get myself a cold beer before I head to the party this evening. Today is my initiation into life on the other side. Hope things are as cool as they were made out to be when I was alive.
U take care; I'll hopefully see you in a bit.
Cheers,
Joe Cadaver
Hope this letter finds you in the pink of life. Kindly accept my apologies for not informing you earlier. I died last friday. I was so dead tired that I forgot to inform you.
From the time I dropped dead, life's been a riot; people running around organizing the funeral, getting the house cleaned-up and getting me cleaned and decked up in my finest clothes before they stuffed in my coffin.
Well, I did remember when I was in the coffin that I should call you, but I thought it might be just so inappropriate to get up & walk out when all the people were gathered around grieving. Those were the worst 8 hours of my life/death. All the offerings that people poured in my mouth were now threatening to breach my bladder. My legs were stiff from lying in the same position for hours on end, my nose was twitching and I felt a sneeze coming on, that darn lone fly was all over my lips resting at times for almost 15 seconds in one place making me wonder if might be doing the big job on my lips. I recollected complaining to my boss about the size of the cubicle once. "It's like working from a coffin" I had remarked. But as I lie here cold, damp & stiff I think I shall eat those words, my last supper.
Thankfully I survived this ordeal until I was six feet under and sufficiently sound proofed. The first thing I did was sneeze, simultaneously letting out loud booming fart. Doubly relieved I loosened my clothes and promptly got down to writing you this letter.
I'm going to shower and get myself a cold beer before I head to the party this evening. Today is my initiation into life on the other side. Hope things are as cool as they were made out to be when I was alive.
U take care; I'll hopefully see you in a bit.
Cheers,
Joe Cadaver
posted by supramenta at 12:46 PM
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