for posterity

I'm already supersrunk
yeah that's how i spelt drunk
ok lemme get off this poetic frenzy....

I'm drunk, even though I had thought about not drinking almost all day. When I started drinking, I was already high from smoking 3 hrs prior to then. I've had one drink more than what I thought I would allow myself (once I had started drinking). I was always aware of the fact that my judgement can suffer when I drink. Yet I cannot stay away from this for long. A large part of myself that I discovered in the adult phase of my life was discovered when I was under the influence of this 'elixir of life'. The most abused, but the most tolerated substance. So without this I am a very small part of myself. And now I'm thinking of having another drink at 1.00am, being super drunk and super hungry. Shiva