Pain

Pain doesn't go away with effort, with denial, with a focus on not feeling it, with distraction. One way most people distract themselves is with work (which sounds noble, but is still a distraction from what is). Others seek other not-so-noble methods. The essence of both is evasion, attempting to forget something that begs for attention. If there is apparent success then it means the feeling is out of conscious memory. But is hasn't really gone away from the system. It has just gone underground, it has been repressed. As long as it is there, it will be active. It will find subconscious ways of seeking your attention. And this feeling is not like the beggars in the traffic lights, who will knock once or twice and move on if you don't give them any attention. This will come at you in so many forms, from so many angles and it will come so perfectly disguised that you will not even recognize it.Which is why we cannot claim that we know ourselves 100% or that we are never once in a while surprised by our own thoughts/words/actions.
The only way to get this potent emotion to calm down and be your slave is to give it attention, look it in the eye and acknowledge what it has to say, nay teach. Every pain is an opening, like a painful physical wound where the skin and flesh has opened and you can see the truth of your physical body's inner reality. Similarly you can see the truth of own inner raw self devoid of all the outer trappings, your identity, what you truly are. A small part of your own inner side, but a small part of your true self.
That's when you shout 'EpiphanyI' (if you still have your breath).